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June 23, 2011

I love my sister

Her Facebook statusi bring me joy. A sampling of my favorites...
  1. GaGa needs to take off the spiked thong, put on some big girl panties, and start writing good stuff again. I'm sorry but this last album is stinking up my hard drive.  
  2. I just lost 5 minutes of my life figuring out how to spell acquaintance.
  3. Just regained consciousness after seeing Robert Smith without eyeliner 
  4. Specifically not going somewhere because it looks like a place that someone I hate would go. 
  5. If you're going to molt and leave your exoskeleton on my porch that's one thing, but don't hang around afterward like a hillbilly. [cicada infestation]
  6. I shot 910 pounds of rabbit, but was only able to bring back 100 pounds of meat. [posted with this picture] 
  7. I can't be the only person still throwing their clothes on the floor.
  8. I don't know why I learned to read, it only makes me mad. [posted with this article]
  9. Just saw a 'Law Offices' sign that I'm 99% sure was stencil and spray paint. I wonder what the odds of them having a walk-in fridge in the back are. 
  10. The world will never know a hatred greater than that between Mega Shark and Giant Octopus. 
  11. Just looked at clothes at Talbots. It's the end for me now, I'm sure of it. 
  12. ...sometimes worries how our world can ever be saved, but then I remember we have Russell Crowe.
  13.  It's really annoying when people call about an interview RIGHT when the Nazgul attack the hobbits on Weathertop. I was so waiting for her to say something about the horribly loud screeching sound...."Well yes ma'am I'd be able to..." "SHIRE! BAGGINS!" 
  14. Is YouTube considered a good thing to list on a job application under "relevant software application skills"? 
  15. Sunday morning wood floor dust bunny roundup.
  16. It's 1:30 am and I just javelined a gigantic katydid lurking on the crown molding with an unclothed Swiffer followed by several minutes of intense and inaccurate pounding. The carcass has been flushed, it was a closed casket funeral. Husband is still asleep but might be faking it so he doesn't have to get involved. 
  17. Facebook is now like being in a naked dream. And you're awake, and everyone can see you.  
  18. What cometh from eBay, returneth to eBay. 
  19. I know I'll like the shoes when reviewers say the heel is just too high to be practical. 
  20. Seriously underestimated how loud her fart would sound in the airport terminal
  21. Will start caring about vampire love stories, when vampires start caring about MY love stories.
  22. Make me some food, internet. 
  23. Discovered a new and unexpected foe- furniture shopping.
  24. Considers herself environmentally conscious, but would shower a thousand pounds of DNA-altering, earth-scorching chemicals on any place I even thought had a spider in it.

    Happy Thursday :)

      19 comments:

      1. I love her now too. Fabulous. I think #11 might be my favourite.

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      2. do you think, if I ask her nicely, that she will adopt me?

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      3. This made me smile. Although some of the references were lost on me. Is a Katydid a spider or should I just start having nightmares about something even scarier?

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      4. Wow. Someone with a sicko sense of humor like me, but much better writing capability with which to express it. I'm impressed.

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      5. I love your sister too! Crying with laughter here. 16, 20 and 24! so funny!!

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      6. Hilarious :) #16 is my favorite, with all the bug javelining and inaccurate pounding... So funny :)

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      7. absolutely hilarious. thanks for sharing!

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      8. i LOLed!

        my favorites are #2 (i spent at least 15 minutes this morning trying to spell 'vingette' ended up calling a smart friend:) ) #8, #12 and #20

        tell your sister thanks for the laugh!

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      9. oh my goodness! I want to see the two of you in the same room together. lol!

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      10. Ha! So much silliness. Sisters are the best.

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      11. Still giggling. My favorite is a tie between #11 and #21. Thank you for sharing!!

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      12. please tell her to tweet so i can follow her. hysterical!

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      13. OK, I think I love your sister too.

        ;^)

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      14. the first status made me think of this video I just saw:
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss_BmTGv43M

        awesome status updates :)

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      15. Can you please bring her to Sewing Summit??

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