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August 24, 2012

Man v. Beast

I don't know if anyone else has this problem, but my dog is basically a stalker. He follows me around like my personal furry black shadow, and I'm constantly stepping over him, narrowly avoiding tripping over him, and finding him laying on things I need (like the clothes I lay out for work or fabric I'm attempting to cut).

Since he spends most of his time blogging right alongside me, here's a POV post of me vs. Whiskers.



Me: I hate you chair. I've hated you for two years, and looking at your ugly black vinyl covering makes me furrow my brow and scowl. Especially when my sweaty thighs stick to you while I'm sewing and they make that gross skin-peeling-away sound that makes me feel like Fatty McFatterson whenever I have to get up. Also, aforementioned scowling is probably leading to premature wrinkles, which makes me hate you more.  After hating you for two years, I'm finally going to recover you and dance upon your vinyl carcas.



Sir Whiskers: This new covering is nice mom, but it could use more of my fur. *Commence aggressive beard rubbing on the edge of new upholstery.*


Birds & Bees fat quarter bundle from Amanda

Me: New fabric!!!! EXCITEMENT EXCITEMENT EXCITEMENT (little bit of pants peeing) EXCITEMENT UNBRIDLED ACCESS TO HEATHER ROSS PRINTS (definite pants peeing) EXCITEMENT PASS OUT


 Out to Sea fat eighth bundle from Amanda




 Field Study fat quarter bundle




Simpatico half yards from Whipstitch and HEATHER ROSS PRINTS BOOK !!!

Discovered Simpatico looks AWESOME with various DS Quilts prints from Joann's

 Sneaky peek at the designs included on the disk in Heather Ross' new book.


Page 2 of designs. Y'all seriously need to buy this book. I wouldn't steer you wrong!




Begrudgingly confirm Angela's "I told you so" when I lay bundles out and see Field Study and Birds & Bees really do play well together.





Whiskers: How dare you strew your things upon my backyard throne. I shall survey my kingdom, and then muddy your crisp white paper with my paws for your impudence.






Me: Since I'm in the backyard, might as well check up on the veggie garden. WTF IS THAT?!?!?! DIE DEVIL SPAWN!!! *Beat caterpillar with stick while it mocks me and hangs on tighter while smoking a hookah and asking "whooooo are youuuuu?". Give up on stick beating after seeing that caterpillar is PURE EVIL and has BLACK BLOOD! Snip off entire branch, and hurl caterpillar over fence like a shotput and into the road. Open fence, and inspect road to make sure devil-spawn caterpillar is good and runned-over.*





Whiskers:  This grass sure smells lovely. Why is she screaming violently and flailing a stick around? Sure is ruining the ambiance.


13 comments:

  1. I love Whiskers! Seriously though, he so reminds me of our Westie, what a great dog! And your fabric is enviable too! :)

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  2. Love this post! My favorite things....fabric and Scotties! You are not alone, imagine have two crazy little Scotties constantly underfoot! It's am miracle I haven't tripped and broken a leg yet (knock on wood)!

    And, oh my goodness - Whiskers is the cutest thing ever! I just want to squeeze him!

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  3. i've got dog stalkers, too. i'm trying to get them to understand that i don't really need help in the bathroom, but they don't seem to believe me. if not stalking me, then they are hiding in the shadows waiting to trip me. Whiskers is so so so cute!!!!

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  4. hahahahahahahaha! Nice chair, and extraordinarily GORGEOUS fabric!

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  5. dying laughing over every moment in this post. It's probably because I've actually seen you do many of these things and can completely envision you doing the others. EVIL caterpillars!! Ugh! I DO NOT miss them!

    And I told you birds and bees and field study look amazing together. ;) Thanks for the props.

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  6. Lol, you funny girl :) I think you were very brave! I'd have left the bug for hubby to deal with :)

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  7. We have a Cairn terrier, I can tell you that your Whiskers and my Dudley are definitely cousins!

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  8. I have that same print on my computer chair! And Tron (cat) loves it and gets really pissy when I tell him it's my turn to use the interbits. Oh, and you are so bad for making me want more fabric!!

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  9. My dog is at my feel as I type and constantly makes a bed of any fabric or quilt top I lay on the floor to baste...stalkers indeed!

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  10. hehe, runned over. you kill me. and caterpillars, apparently.

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  11. You are hilarious. That does look like a stinger of death. Yikes! And holy bundles, batman! Nicely done on the stashing, friend!

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  12. Whiskers is my favorite. Such attitude! Such sass! Such handsomeness!

    and the fabric is lovely too :)

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